


Unspoken Words

by lostinthesounds



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 11:15:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13293681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: They were so close together now, her feet subconsciously walking to stand in front of Bellamy. He could feel her hot breath tap on his nose, the intensity and pain dwelling in her eyes because of him."I always came back to you. I never wanted to hurt you, I told you that i always think with everyone in mind..it was my job to protect everyone and I couldn't argue with you"Bellamy couldn't help himself as he drew in closer to her. He wants to believe what she's saying to him, and he knew Clarke did what she did to protect her people but surviving wasn't the only thing keeping her up at night.He knew her so well that Bellamy knows he was on her mind then, now and always.Or Bellamy and Clarke talking about how she used her radio to talk to him for 2,199 days. Only him.





	Unspoken Words

**Author's Note:**

> cute little one-shot for bellarke in season 5 of the 100! Madi accidentally tells Bellamy about Clarke radioing him everyday and both of them are confused about their relationship.

Bellamy _never_ thought he would be getting shooting lessons from a little girl. Ever.

However, being that he was a bit rusty with his favorite weapon after 6 years of being in space with no grounders or mountain men to fight off and kill with a new life filled with agonizing peace and Monty's moonshine everyday...he needed a reminder of his old life. Eligius wasn't on their trail as much, mostly because Clarke was the one fighting them off with their old rifles and strategies. The things she learned from Bellamy, if he could gloat about it now. 

Madi was her little helper, in the words from Raven when she first set her eyes on the fear-filled eyes of the 12 year old not wanting to leave Clarke's side. Bellamy's own mind still keeps him up at night... which apart from the deafening silence that filled his ears being on dirt and soil and not floating in space,  the girl he almost wanted to die for and felt guilt everytime he opened his eyes because Clarke was the first thing he thought about, was in the small house next to his every night. He'd been on the ground almost a week now, and his heart never beat this hard with knowing the first girl he cared about was  _alive._  

"So..I just make sure my shoulder is keeping the gun supported?" Bellamy asks the younger girl beside him, adjusting the rifle on his dominant shoulder so his weight would support the impact of the gun firing. Madi nods then shifts her focus to the target in front of them, which was an old piece of torn red fabric from the flags in Polis.

Bellamy fires the gun, instantly filled with adrenaline from something familiar yet foreign and the memories flood his head from 23 year old Bellamy that would of done anything to protect his people, who killed people who tried to do the same to him, the torture he instilled on some. It was a warm afternoon, so he had to squint to see if he hit the target because of the sunlight bearing down on everyone. 

 

"You hit it perfectly" Madi says, walking to get a better glimpse at the bullet and target and Bellamy did in fact hit the flag right in the center of the X mark. He still got it in himself to shoot a gun. 

 

He smiles and sets the gun down on the wooden plank next to him, and goes to high-five the girl for being a good teacher. Bellamy personally found Madi as adorable and precious, and he wasn't sure if it was because he was older now but that protectiveness of kids never really went away in his big heart. 

"I had the best teacher ever" He gushes and winks down at her to try to give the kid as much pride he could offer, because she was actually badass for knowing how to shoot a gun at this age. He could only imagine how life was like for kids her age on Earth before the original nuclear plants went off almost 200 years prior, how they played with actual toys and didn't have to worry about food rationing and different factions and the sight of planets rotating around eachother, with the worry of blindness because of oxygen deprivation...the life he lived. 

Bellamy notices the slight redness to Madi's face as she was blushing with his words, and pats the space next to her on the Rover so they could relax in the shade together, and he gladly takes it. 

"Clarke taught you all this?" he asks, gesturing to the corrections Madi was giving him throughout practice. 

"She taught me English first" 

"How long ago was that?" Madi shares a nervous glance, unsure on if she should tell him how long Clarke had actually been alone. Clarke told Madi endless stories about her friends up in space, and especially the man next to her. Bellamy was spoken about with such high praise and comfort for her guardian on this horrid planet, and the protective side of Bellamy was said to be  _extra and draining_. Was it worth it to explain how much he meant to her, or how less happy Clarke had been without talking to the person she described as the one thing she was fighting for all those years ago?

Madi couldn't stop the words spilling from her mouth. 

"4 years ago. She was alone all before then, from what i could remember..she left the bunker 12 months after praimfaya and scavenged until she found little me" She laughs to herself when she finishes. She expected him to lash out or start asking a billion questions, but all Bellamy asked was "You kept her centered, didn't you?" 

 

"The best I could" Madi says with a grin on her face, fiddling with the end strands of her sleeves. The words passing her lips next surprises the both of them, but she anticipated an answer being the curious girl she was..like Clarke. 

 

"Did you miss her?" Bellamy looks down at the green grass under his dangling feet, the memory suddenly flashing in his head of risking his life and proving his stubborn head when going to save Clarke from the Azgeda king named Roan who happened to become an ally soon after. The same grass, that had grown back to life from the deadly radiation named praimfaya...the same radiation that made Bellamy go up into the atmosphere and Clarke staying on a heavily radiated planet with her untested nightblood that actually worked. He was right all along -  _"Nothing is happening to you" his eyes bold and intense, trying to convince Clarke that once they escape to the ark, that they would be okay and he would protect her like he always does. But, it doesn't convince her. He can't listen to her say goodbye..it's so soon and he can't imagine himself doing all of this alone. "Now, let's run these water numbers again"._

"I missed her everyday. It took me so long to grieve her, i always felt so guilty abut leaving her behind-" He pauses and looks at Madi with an intensity in his eyes he didn't even recognize, "Madi i thought she died" 

Madi could feel the tension radiating off Bellamy with those words, and how surprising everything was to him. How much Clarke had thrived, and not gone insane with being alone in a place that once inhabited her friends and people she called family and  **her** people. 

"She talked to you everyday..just you. Not Raven, Monty or Murphy, just Bellamy" She knew she sparked something in him, when she heard his breath hitch on his throat and his head slowly turning to her. Bellamy didn't know what to do.

So, she took that as her place to continue " She used the radio everyday, asking if you could hear her. There'd be times when she would cry to you and fall asleep, or even sing me to sleep with her recording on the radio so maybe you would hear it. She would laugh about you..trying to remember what you looked like or how much she missed you. She never lost hope on seeing you again, I'm sure you still have a piece of you that had hope for her too. " 

Bellamy could feel his hands begin to twitch, his brain going into a fog of different emotions of joy or sadness. He left Clarke behind with nobody to talk to for two years, then left her in worry and despair because she wasn't sure if he was breathing. He sat next to their own radio, on the ark almost everyday as well. 

 

Yet, he heard nothing. 

Nothing to prove she was still alive. 

 

"Even when she figured i couldn't listen or talk back to her?" He asks finally, his voice shaky with realization and resurfaced pain of putting his feelings away in some cell in his body..the years spent isolating his feelings for someone he thought was dead and couldn't love the rebel back...trying to ignore the pain blasting through his chest knowing what Madi would reply with. 

Bellamy swallows the sorrow with an undertone of joy somewhere in his heart, and leans his head on the frame of the Rover to attempt to relax himself with the banging of old but alive feelings against his head. His eyes close for a second and repeats Madi's small nod in the blackness surrounding him for that very brief silence. 

 

                                                                                    ____________________________________

 

Clarke was surprised at how fast her friends had been adapting to Earth again...they had helped her gather fruits or small prey with hunting at night and kept everything in order in case they had to flee, in case of an Eligius attack. But, she knew that she would have to go and rescue the people in the bunker soon because she had her friends back and finally had enough people to dig out rubble and save their people. 

She was alone now, after teaching Emori how to sew and Echo to properly cook their food all day. Clarke felt oddly content with how well they were learning and the old times came back in their conversations and how life was for the two ladies in space, and how quick her cheeks would flush when they would bring up Bellamy. He was alive. Her best friend, her co-leader, her  _everything_ was breathing the same air as her. It only took him 6 years to come back to her, but it was awkward. She was hoping he would't of changed as much as he did, how much 6 years of time passing would affect their relationship. 

This was what she had anticipated since waking up in the lab when praimfaya hit, when she barely escaped it's wrath on humanity, and time had gone by so slow. Everyday was filled with waiting and remembering every single thing in the lab because it was the only thing Clarke could do to keep herself sane and not have breakdowns that would of resulted in objects breaking and never-ending tears of being the last person on the ground. 

Bellamy only made it worse. 

His image crawling into her mind everytime she closed her eyes, the possibility of him being dead and his last moments being those that wanted Clarke to pull that damn satellite so Raven could get the connection she needed for survival. Could he have heard her? Did he wait for the final seconds before radiation struck Earth for her to come back to them? 

Those were questions that rang in her head for the first couple years. Until she met Madi, the little nightblood that nobody knew about. Madi gave Clarke something  _else_ to live for, to distract her from her past and help the little girl into a better future. 

 

But Bellamy was back now. They all were. But the tension between her and Bellamy was growing stronger, with the unsaid words between them..the 6 years they shamelessly wanted to spend together in safety. She was afraid it wasn't going to be the same. 

Clarke had to let her brain rest from thinking about every single thing bothering her, so she set the clothes down and walked outside of the makeshift house. She decided on taking a walk to clear her head, and began to walk right when something stopped her. 

"Can we talk?" the deep voice asked behind her, her skin tingling because she knew who it was immediately. Clarke turns on her heel and stare at Bellamy, taking all of his presence in..He looks at her with this softness to his face and suddenly she wasn't so sure if everything was alright. 

"Yeah, I was just about to go for a walk and i'm guessing you wanna join now?" He nods and holds his arm out to gesture for her to lead the way. 

 

They end up walking down a path not too far from the camp, but filled with berries and fruit. 

 

"What happened?" Clarke says, wanting to know why Bellamy was so anxious and demanding to speak to her being that he was the one who avoided interacting with her besides the dramatic hug they had shared earlier in the week. 

"I was training with Madi today, and sh-" Clarke cuts him off to proudly show off what she taught the girl, but didn't realize that Bellamy wanted to be serious and finish his sentence before doing it again. 

"-She told me that you talked to me everyday...on the radio" The words sounding like quick sand, his body wanting to reject them after it had been said..realizing that Clarke had stopped in her tracks. Bellamy stopped walking too. 

Silence filled the air, most importantly Bellamy's head again, he so desperately wanted to reach out and hold her soft hands and admit to everything he had felt or packed away in his torn heart. But he didn't do that, he wanted her mind to race. Bellamy wanted Clarke to feel whatever she felt about him, this was the time to tell the other how much their relationship changed or could change with another factor, both hadn't experienced in a long time. 

Until, Bellamy got sick of it. 

"Clarke I know it's true...I just need more to the story. Why was it only me?" 

"You were my partner..I wanted to make sure you were alright and not floating in space because of me" She says with no effort or emotion to her tone. This isn't the Clarke he wanted to know, she was closing off on him and he cared too much to not know the truth. Was she in love with him still? 

"That's all? Is that really all you have to say to me after 6 years?" 

She pauses with the slight raise of his voice, something she hadn't witnessed since their survival days. He looked so confused with how she was acting, but she didn't expect for this confession to happen this quickly. Especially, when Madi had been the one to tell Bellamy, and not from her own mouth or her own story. 

"What do you want me to say Bellamy? That i couldn't survive without you? That I spent almost everyday trying to reach out to someone, I wanted to make sure was okay?" Every breathe she took, her body moving itself to step towards him. She was angry and lost in the moment of a scene in her head actually coming alive and how much this would affect her if he didn't understand. 

Bellamy shakes his head almost violently, his hands grasping onto eachother to keep them from shaking with the conversation erupting in front of him. All he desired, was the truth and closure to whatever his heart wanted him to feel for Clarke. They were too strong to bury so it needed to come alive or die. 

"Why was it only me?" 

"Why aren't you taking the compliment and feeling special, huh? Cause we all knew how much you liked to feel validated!" Clarke retorts, her tone matching the tension in the air. Thick and unsettling. 

He ignored the hurt slashing its way into his ears, and strikes back "When was I ever special? All I could remember was you leaving me for Lexa at polis, leaving me because you didn't want to face the pain together after Mount Weather, after you were willing to let my sister die because of Jaha!" 

A single tear fell down Clarke's face and she was close to breaking. 

They were so close together now, her feet subconsciously walking to stand in front of Bellamy. He could feel her hot breath tap on his nose, the intensity and pain dwelling in her eyes because of him. 

"I always came back to  _you_. I never wanted to hurt you, I told you that i always think with everyone in mind..it was my job to protect everyone and I couldn't argue with you"

Bellamy couldn't help himself as he drew in closer to her. He wants to believe what she's saying to him, and he knew Clarke did what she did to protect her people but surviving wasn't the only thing keeping her up at night and he knew how they felt about eachother before praimfaya. 

He breathes out "What's on your mind now?" and she almost gets lost in the way he's looking at her. How bold he was being, yet caring and soft to try to get her talking to him like they used to. Clarke stepped back from the intensity of the stare, and dawns on him from a larger distance. 

"What do you want me to say?" She repeats from before, watching him get out of his own daze and just looks at her with this relief written on his face. 

"I want the truth"

Clarke sighs " I just told you why, I knew you would listen to me and follow my directions when you needed to. I wanted to make sure you weren't dead, Bellamy" she wants to walk away. She wants to leave him in the center of this pathway, stuck with the fruits and berries and forget her feelings. She barely gets a foot away from where she was originally standing before Bellamy speaks up. 

 

"For the sake of god...Clarke I can't do this anymore. I feel like my heart has been ripped apart by you for so long, I was the one who had to grieve over losing you. You had it easy down here...with finding Madi and building your own little life down here without everyone else. I'm sorry if I thought I was actually something special to you, and you didn't wanna lose me either" Bellamy didn't even care if any visible tears were showing or running down his face, he didn't get the answers he wanted and he was gonna be forced to bury the feelings and let them die. He was in love with a girl who didn't feel comfortable with admiting why she would only talk to him. 

 

It was so obvious. 

 

Bellamy just wanted her to acknowledge it. He's been chasing the idea of her and now he just wants her with him. 

 

"Don't think I had it easy down here, I was alone for months with my own demons and nightmares about you guys being dead up there! I had to own up to everything I've done to survive, with or without your help." 

 

Clarke swallows harshly, wanting the lump in her throat to disappear so she could admit this freely. If Bellamy wanted the truth, he could have it. 

 

"Don't think I had it easy because I was alone...it was harder because I didn't have you" Clarke whispers, letting her hands fall freely to her sides. Her voice low and scared, she hadn't admitted that to herself in so long.  

 

"I radioed you everyday to keep me sane...to remind me of who I was 6 years ago. To make sure you would have a story to wake up or fall asleep to, to let you know I was okay and healthy. You were gone for so long, I would sometimes forget what you looked like so I tried to talk to myself about the things I remembered."

Bellamy takes slow steps to be closer to Clarke. His heart racing with anticipation, his eyes wandering her face for a sign of her stopping but she didn't. He was learning what she had kept inside for so long, the words he was searching for before this whole conversation even started. 

"What did you remember?" He asks softly, afraid to touch her but his eyes locked on hers with a sign of acceptance and wanting her to continue. 

The blood in his veins running hot and quickly throughout his body, her blue eyes frantically searching his face like it was the first time she'd actually recognize him in front of her again. 

"I couldn't remember your voice after the 5th year mark...I tried to draw your curls or freckles if I really couldn't pinpoint anything....but you have a beard now" Her eyes flicker to his stubble and hair on the sides of his cheeks. 

 

"What would you do if I said that I really care about you?" Bellamy tests the waters by speaking up, cautious of not stepping boundaries. 

Clarke shares a small smile and it took all of Bellamy not to grip her waist and pull her against him. 

" I would say that we both already knew that when I said goodbye." Her face saddens, but Bellamy wouldn't allow that. His hand caressed the side of her face, and makes Clarke look up at him again. 

 

His eyebrows barely scrunched together as he lets his thumb swipe away any dry tears left on her face. His hand felt like it was on fire, he hadn't touched her like this since the lame excuse of cold sweat being an oxymoron. It was electric and sparked their fire of being together finally. 

 

Her hand grips Bellamy's as he just lets it stay on her face, providing the comfort she needed. 

 

"I felt like an idiot then, when I didn't tell you how I felt about us. So please don't stop me this time when I say this" Bellamy pauses with his breath hitched in his throat for the second time that day, feeling Clarke nod against his fingertips. 

 

"I love you" 

Bellamy couldn't even wait for her reaction because her lips were already on his. Her hands interlocking at the nape of his neck, pulling him close and he forgot about everything they'd went through. From the pain that lingers in the past, to their hearts beating with their lips finally meeting. 

 

Clarke pulls away after a few seconds and she feels over the moon. Bellamy was in love with her and she could finally say she felt the same. She's always felt it 

 

"Why couldn't you tell me this yourself?" Bellamy asks, his lips brushing against hers trying to hide the big grin across his face. 

 

"I was scared because it's been so long since I've confronted how I felt because you haven't been down here with me" Clarke searches his face for any hesitation but finds none with his next words. 

 

"Are you scared now?" She feels his hands clasp behind her back to hold her against him and she feels warmth everywhere. 

 

She shakes her head knowing it was truthful and authentic for once in her adult life. 

 

"Not anymore" 


End file.
